Space, Relationships, and Sharing Krishna Consciousness

Writing helps me to clarify and collate my thinking. In writing about the reasoning behind our decision to close the Albert St studio (not yet published) I wrote that our mission is not "to maintain a yoga studio", but rather to "help people to develop uplifting relationships".

That's a key insight.

Four Spaces where Relationships take place

Human beings need relationships in four distinct relational "spaces" in order to be psychologically balanced and healthy.

The four relational spaces are: Public, Social, Personal, and Intimate.

A strategic approach to sharing Krishna consciousness should provide opportunities for uplifting relationships in all of these spaces.

Public Space

The Public space is where you are essentially "alone in a crowd". You are surrounded by people, but there are too many for you to interact personally. You are as much spectator as participant.

Examples of the Public space would be a Sunday Feast program at a Hare Krishna temple or doing a yoga class in the Atma studio.

Social Space

The Social space is 6-15 people. It gives you an opportunity to interact with people and assess them. Essentially you are looking for persons with whom you are interested in pursuing a further relationship.

Examples of the social space would be a group of people talking at a party or sitting at the table talking over dinner at Atma after the class.

Personal Space

The Personal space is typically 3-5 people. It's a much smaller group where the conversation can turn more specific and closer to shared core values of the participants.

Examples of the Personal space would be the kitchen of a home, or a group of friends sitting down for a drink in a cafe.

Intimate Space

The Intimate space is inhabited by 2-3 people. In this space the participants are very closely bonded.

Examples of intimate space might include a heart-to-heart talk between two people, asking advice, talking confidentially or specifically. The dynamic of the interaction will change when someone else enters the space.

The Foyer, Living Room, Kitchen Analogy

In the book "Creating Community: Five Keys to Creating a Small Group Culture" Andy Stanley and Bill Willlits use the analogy of a house to describe these different spaces.

The Public space is the "foyer" or perhaps the porch of the house. If you imagine a party, people who are hanging around on the edges, sizing things up, hang outside. There they have the opportunity to spectate, without the pressure to participate.

The Living Room is the Social space, where people head once they decide that they want to get involved.

The Kitchen is the Personal space, the heart of the party, where people are more deeply engaged, and the deep and meaningful conversations happen.

The Albert St Studio and the Four Spaces

In Creating Community Stanley and Willits explain the process of deepening relationship as one of traversing these spaces, from Foyer to Living Room to Kitchen, or from Public to Social to Personal.

In the Albert St studio we have a Public space, the yoga room, we have a social space, the dining area, but we are really lacking the personal space. At our previous facilities it was literally a kitchen, a place where people could spend time with a two or three people and talk on a more personal level, while helping to cook or do dishes.

We have had an informal saying amongst the atma crew: "I came for the yoga, I came back for the food, I stayed for the company". This describes the transition from public to social to personal.

So not having a kitchen as part of our facility at the Albert St studio has constrained the fulfilment of our mission (though not thwarted it), and now I can articulate precisely how it has done so.

The Spaces and the Strategic Approach to Facilitating Uplifting Relationships

A strategic approach to sharing Krishna Consciousness, helping people to develop relationships that are uplifting and beneficial, should provide opportunities for uplifting relationships in all of these relational spaces.

To have a huge program once a week where people can be "alone in a crowd" fulfils the need of Public space, and is necessary. People need to feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.

However, it must be accompanied by social, personal, and intimate spaces.

The seating arrangement at the Sunday Feast program in Brisbane was counter-productive to this, with guests sitting in lines. It made for easy serving out, but it failed to provide the correct setting to facilitate other spaces and other types of relationships.

Recently the serving out arrangement of the Saturday night feast at the Graceville temple has changed. With up to 300 people coming it's no longer feasible to serve out in lines. Instead guests go to a continuously serving buffet and then find somewhere to sit.

With the requirement to sit in lines no longer imposed on them people have begun to sit in circles and create social spaces. These social spaces offer the opportunity to manifest relationships in social space.

Social space and Small Groups

In "Activate: An Entirely New Approach to Small Groups Nelson Searcy and Kerrick Thomas make the argument that small groups fulfil the need for a safe social space for participants.

Relationships in a small group are not meant to be personal or intimate, they are meant to be in the social space.

Certainly we see that atma fulfils this social and psychological need of people. Where do you go if you don't drink or smoke, to hang out and meet like-minded people?

In an overall strategy small groups can fulfill the role of a social space.

In my post "Thoughts on Small Groups 1" I explained that Bhakti-vriksha (small groups) fulfill social and psychological needs of the participants. It's important to recognise this and structure things around it.

People need relationships in all four relational spaces. A small group, and the small group program, exists to provide a venue for uplifting relationships in social space. This is an important insight.