Sex and Love

In relation to webasura's comment:

Speaking of those individuals for whom homosexual tendencies are a result of inborn guNa, philosophically, wouldn't they form a separate class? In which case, there ought to be "segregation" from the general body of other male (or female) devotees, in the sense that their interactions within the body politic are regulated according to that guNa's relationship with other guNas.

In a previous conversation, one disciple of Srila Prabhupada shared with me this (paraphrased from memory):

These people need to have their own "scene", their own temples, and amongst them their own leaders, pure devotees who can preach to them and set an ideal example.

My personal experience is that some persons whose gender does not fall into your classic stereotypes (they may be gay or bi-sexual) can live more peacefully in a family setting. They become unbalanced and disturbed when they are in a single sex environment, but in a family setting they do well. So they can live with grhastas in an extended family situation.

Recently I met one man who was clearly effeminate. His mind was very female and his mannerisms might be referring to as "mincing" (as in "Affectedly refined or dainty"). In the course of conversation it turned out he is married (to a woman). I think that what most people need is understanding and emotional support.

Illicit sex life, of whatever combination, represents a karma and both arises from and creates psychological distortion. Psychologically, emotionally, relationally, and socially illicit sex life complicates the situation.

In helping people to "come in for a landing" in Krishna Consciousness we spend a lot of time helping to deprogram and decontaminate people from the psychological distortions that arise from illicit sex. I think that a lot of people who have different gender identities complicate their situation by trying to meet their emotional and psychological needs through sex life.

As one Shelter song put it: "She uses sex for love, he uses love for sex". So while people are seeking companionship and support, sometimes they confuse this with sex. Sometimes other persons with lusty desires take advantage of this. I've met a number of people, of all gender and sexual orientations, who have been taken advantage of in this way, or mutually exploited a partner in this way, and have been devastated as a result.

What's my point? Sex is actually meant for procreation. When you confuse it with companionship and emotional support it can cause a lot of complication, whatever your gender or orientation. It's not a substitute, and when it becomes one it is psychologically and relationally damaging.