Nobody's Fault But Mine

Got a monkey on my back.
Gonna change my ways tonight
Nobody's fault but mine

- Led Zeppelin, "Nobody's Fault But Mine"

As long as your consciousness is stuck in the "blame-game" level - thinking that "someone" is to blame for your situation - then the only way to make advancement is to realize that if anyone is to blame, it is you.

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim.

- Srimad Bhagavatam 10.14.8

Internally he says, or if asked about it by others, he says aloud, "This suffering is my prarabdha karma which I must inevitably experience.

- Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana, Gita Bhusana commentary on Bhagavad-gita 2.56

At a low level of consciousness we identify other people as the cause of our troubles, and blame them. In this way we react and create further reactions.

In order to progress, we have to take ownership of our situation, bringing it within us, and within our responsibility. In this way we begin to define our response, rather than reacting. At this level of consciousness we start to recognize that we are not being victimized by the universe and others within it - rather it is reacting to us, and we are then creating further reactions by reacting to those reactions.

From this position we can move forward and go to the platform of realizing that everything is perfect as it is. Not in a theoretical - "oh yeah, I already heard that preaching" - way, but in a real way where we are happily situated beyond the blame-game.

For this reason we instruct the mass of people: "You are in this world because of choices that you made. If anyone is to blame for your sojourn in this universe, it is you."

Once they have risen beyond the level of the "blame game", they become able to understand that nothing happens except by the will of the Lord, and that this is perfect in every respect.

But until we get to that platform we can't understand this. So therefore I say it again: If you still need to blame someone for what is happening to you, the only way to make advancement is to understand that you are the cause of your own misfortune - no-one else!

Catch your mind identifying and blaming others, scheming how to manipulate other people and the situation to get the outcome you desire.

And when you do, beat it into submission. Don't manipulate other people and engineer the situation. Instead work on yourself. Seek out your own fault and rectify that - that will fix everything outside you.

Catching your mind at work, playing the "blame-game" is the first step. Bring it into your conscious awareness. Don't gossip with others and find a little circle of sympathetic friends who nod and say: "Yes, you're right. It's her fault. He did it to you. It's because of them." Catch the mind and do not indulge it.

We cannot artificially overcome the "blame-game": "Oh, I live with no regrets and no shame", we tell ourselves, following a popular self-help guru. "I refuse to let other people get me down, telling me that it's all my fault. I forgive myself completely and release myself of all guilt".

At the same time we secretly resent others and identify them as the cause of our troubles. We are still in the blame-game, we're just refusing to be accountable for ourselves, and in this way we're losing our response-ability, falling back down to the reactive (karma-producing) level.

Taking the blame is not negative, it's the only way to get the power to move forward.

Take responsibility. Take back the accountability and the power for what happens to you in your life, and use it move forward.