Humour

This post worked just as well when it was blank. People are dying every second. Every famous person will die. It's not really news.

A Croatian bakery has a unique way of keeping away burglars - Chuck Norris.

The bakery suffered from regular break-ins until it put up a life-sized photo of the Hollywood tough-guy, well-known for B-movie action classics like Delta Force and Invasion USA, news.com.au reported.

The photo also has a sign, saying the shop is "under the protection of Chuck Norris".

Since putting up the photo one month ago, the bakery in the city of Split has had no burglaries.

A sales assistant at the bakery said the Chuck Norris photo started as a joke but "people seem to respect him", news.com.au reported.

"Thieves haven't been anywhere near us for ages."

Burglars aren't the only ones fooled either - several customers have asked whether they can get Norris' autograph, the assistant told media.

"They really believe he is sitting in our storeroom out the back ready to pounce on any burglars."

via Stuff.co.nz

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

By the way, from an evolutionary point of view Swine flu is the agent of natural selection and as such is the material cause of evolution of the species. So in this sense it occupies the role of the Deity of theists.

All glories to Swine flu.

"Don't waste time, chant Hare Krishna."

To save you time trawling YouTube for Muppet Metal videos, here are the best ones (my picks at least):

Ernie and Bert go brutal - the one that started it all. The juxtaposition of Bert and Ernie with this song - the sheer over-the-topness of the song itself - its unrelenting pace and duration - the expertly synchronised fills. The final punchline - it's so many kinds of awesome.

"Sesame Street Slayer Singalong". The juxtaposition of the genre of the song with the format of a children's show singalong - the awesome synchronization. If it had been a Slayer song from 20 years ago I could really have relished it, but to be honest it sounds like it could be one - that's consistency.

"Beaker and his death metal band cover Lash by Lash by Possessed by Spawn". Intensely technical song - great synchronization to match - lots of variety in the shots - production effects to make it just like a music video - beaker doing death metal. Awesome.

"Cookie Monster Metal". An original track. Good representation of the genre with the intense death growl.

Here's a bonus track:

"Muppets theme in the style of a Bach Fugue". Great improvisation on a popular theme in a particular style. There are more videos of Richard Grayson demonstrating his mastery of and intimate familiarity with different styles of great composers.

OK, back to chanting...

Youtube can now be closed. Thank you, we have winner.

More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas

Dude, this is so totally going to become part of my "Internet Addiction" presentation...

Hare Krishna Extremist Regimes:

• Conservative: You are stoned if you don't show up to mangal-arati
• Liberal: You are stoned and you don't show up to mangal-arati

That's my idea of a joke...

Here's another one:

Hare Krishna fanatic bumper sticker:

"WWPS? What Would Prabhupada Say?"

Feel free to photoshop and spread the meme...

I found this satire news article through my Google news alert for "Hare Krishna":

Hare Krishnas split due to 'musical differences'

Internationally renowned folk mantra group The Hare Krishnas announced today that they are splitting up. The announcement was made by the group’s manager Ramai Swami during a hastily arranged press conference in New York, the group’s Western birth place.

Read more...